


I was interested to see your new Patronus

by ElizaHiggs



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Canon Compliant, Missing Scene, POV Severus Snape, Stream of Consciousness
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-13
Updated: 2016-02-13
Packaged: 2018-05-20 02:09:51
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,644
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5988496
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ElizaHiggs/pseuds/ElizaHiggs
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Snape and Tonks have a fight club | M rating for violence</p>
            </blockquote>





	I was interested to see your new Patronus

**Author's Note:**

> I do not own any of these characters
> 
> My (non-slash) explanation of that nasty scene in Book 6. Canon-compliant; but Snape is a bit darker here than in most fics.

Of all the members of the Order, she's the only one he likes to parry with.

It had begun almost accidentally - she was in the kitchen at Headquarters with Black and Lupin, preparing a meal, laughing and nearly spilling the contents of her mixing bowl.

He had fully intended to ignore all of them. It's nauseating watching Black fawn over his newly-reunited cousin, and it's equally nauseating watching Lupin pretend he isn't attracted to her. For a moment, they had seemed sufficiently otherwise occupied, but when he passed through the kitchen Black had started in on him, and so he'd said something biting about her cooking skills, comparing them to her dismal potion-brewing abilities (not entirely true, of course, since she'd managed an E on her O.W.L. in potions and had taken his own N.E.W.T. level course).

In reality, he hadn't thought much about her at all. When Dumbledore had brought up her name as a recommendation to the Order, he had only vaguely recalled the mediocre student who preferred the back of the room, whose face screwed up with concentration as she focused on her potion and her hair changed slowly from pink to purple to black.

So his venom wasn't for her, not really, merely a jibe meant to rouse Black, the way a jibe at a friend never fails to rankle a Gryffindor.

But Tonks is not a Gryffindor; she hadn't waited for her cousin to defend her, but had thrown a hex his way, one he didn't see or sense coming until it was almost too late and which he'd only managed to block at the last moment.

When she had first arrived at number twelve, Grimmauld Place, she was so clumsy and loud that he'd wondered how she'd ever become an auror at all, but it now appeared the little metamorphmagus is not without real skills, and not without a streak of violence.

While Dumbledore addressed the Order that night he'd positioned himself next to her, but if his proximity irritated her she hid it well. After the meeting he'd met her eye and inclined his head slightly, to indicate that she should follow, and as she did he noticed that her hand was already intuitively on her wand. The Order has a room set up for dueling, of course, for members to practice battle. It's a small space, in the basement, but Dumbledore has equipped the walls with special enchantments designed to absorb the hexes and jinxes that miss their mark, lest the spells ricochet off the walls like some bizarre game of Wizards' squash.

When they'd reached the hallway, out of earshot of Black and the rest, he'd turned to her and asked, "Care to duel?"

She'd looked at him steadily; she's damn near unreadable, which makes him wonder if she's an Occlumens as well and if perhaps he can't convince Dumbledore to allow her to teach Potter Occlumency this year, instead of him, as he really doesn't see _that_ going very well.

Occlumens or not, it's clear she doesn't trust him any more than any of the others, and he can only imagine the filthy things Black has been whispering in her ear about him.

But she'd nodded and followed him into the dueling room. She'd immediately dispensed with the usual niceties - none of the bowing nonsense, no silly discussions about which attacks were and weren't within bounds - and had instead thrown another hex at him no sooner than he'd bolted the door, as if she had been waiting for this since that disastrous little scene in the kitchen, as if she'd been just _itching_ to get him alone, and he'd volleyed with pleasure, and she hadn't relented until he'd finally disarmed her, and their duels became a regular activity whenever they were both at Headquarters.

And oh, it's been a long time since he's had anyone to duel with properly, not since his Death Eater days - the first ones - and while the Second War Order undeniably has many powerful witches and wizards, they're so bloody _honorable_ , afraid to get their hands dirty, afraid to find out what they're really up against. Traditional dueling may improve reaction time, but it doesn't allow one to fully appreciate the living Dark Arts. It fails to instill real pain or fear.

Tonks isn't afraid of a real duel, and the brilliance of fighting a metamorphmagus is that he can't hurt her, not really, not permanently, and there's no scarring or ugly bruising that might give the other members a hint as to the ferality of their fights.

And she'd begun insisting that he use Dark Magic, that he try to curse her, and he'd happily complied. After a few months he even dares to use his own incantation, _sectumsempra,_ and he hits her, once, across the forearm, and it surprises and exhilarates her, and blood flies across the room as she comes at him again and again until finally, for the first time, she disarms him with a spell that sends him into the wall.

Dumbledore would not approve, of course, but what Dumbledore doesn't know won't kill him, and could he really complain having another member of the Order of the Phoenix who was actually prepared for what was coming?

He'd prepared her in other ways too, albeit inadvertently, when he'd apparated onto the outskirts of the castle grounds, shaking and vomiting from the aftershocks of a particularly vicious Cruciatus Curse - the Dark Lord had discovered what Lucius had done with Riddle's diary and his anger had extended to every Death Eater present, and Voldemort had cursed him until he thought he would die and he comes dangerously, dangerously close to losing control over his mind.

When the Dark Lord had finally left them, he had summoned his last bit of strength to apparate to the edges of Hogwarts, where Tonks, on patrol that evening, had discovered him and sent a panicked Patronus up to the castle, and he'd seen the silver Jack rabbit speeding away before he'd lost consciousness.

When he'd come round, he recognized Dumbledore's office, and he'd registered with distaste that Nymphadora is still there, and she's saying something about a painkiller, and he refuses, or would've, if he could speak yet - the Dark Lord doesn't permit healing spells or potions after his special punishments for his Death Eaters, wants to know that they feel the after-effects in their sublime entirety - but it's a muggle painkiller, a Vicodin.

Extras, Tonks had explained, that she'd taken from her muggle grandfather after he'd had surgery last year, because she thought they might be useful in the field, and even Dumbledore had looked mildly impressed, and it is, admittedly, brilliant, a remedy the Dark Lord won't think to search his memory for, and even if it's only mildly efficacious against the Cruciatus, it at least had allowed him to sleep.

After the fiasco at the Ministry she'd taken up with the werewolf, at least until Lupin - predictably - had gone all noble and refused to allow himself to be happy, and suddenly their duels become more intense, more insistent, as if she wants punish herself for Black's death or Lupin's abandonment or both. He matches her ferocity and hits her again with _sectumsempra_ , this time across the shoulder, where the curse tears her robes along with her skin, and abruptly she stops fighting back, and another attack sends her to the floor.

Annoyed by her sudden passivity, he strides to her, mutters the incantation to remedy the bleeding wound, and looks at her expectantly, waiting for her to screw up her face and hide her scar. When she explains that she has lost the ability to morph, he is so angry at her deception that he immediately stands, tosses her wand to her and storms from the room, ignoring her calls to him and leaving her sobbing on the floor.

At the next meeting he avoids her, and as suddenly as they'd begun, they don't duel anymore.

When term begins, Potter is - surprise - late for the start-of-term feast. The staff are seated at the head table when he feels Dumbledore's gaze on him. He meets his eye, and the old wizard nods almost imperceptibly, having evidently sensed some magical disturbance whistling just outside the castle walls, and Snape quits the Great Hall to take whatever Order communication is waiting just outside.

He is surprised by the wolfish Patronus, from which comes Nymphadora's familiar voice: _I have Harry. Come to the gate and let us in._

Snape never casts a Patronus if he can help it. The happy childhood memories the incantation requires linger long after the silver doe has extinguished, and it's dangerous, very dangerous, to have the memories of _her_ swimming so close to the surface of his mind.

Love, Dumbledore kept insisting, is the greatest force on earth, the only force capable of overpowering the Dark Arts, and while that may be true,  _love_ is not exactly a helpful presence when one is a double agent, when he has to rely on the ability to close off his mind, pretend he feels nothing, and face the Dark Lord whenever summoned. Love may protect the soul, but the irony is that the body, too, is a necessity for fighting evil, and love can be the body's undoing, as it was Lily's, as he knows it will be his, and as it seems it will be Nymphadora's.

When he gets to the gate, she's clearly dismayed to see him; she'd intended the message for Hagrid. He collects Potter from her and shuts the gate in her face.

"And incidentally," he says with a sneer, with a venom meant just for her, "I was interested to see your new Patronus. I think you were better off with the old one - the new one looks weak."

 


End file.
